By Katie Rea — spiritual director, writer, and companion for those listening deeply to life as it

A seeker learning to receive grace one unclenched fist at a time.

The Devotional That Hit Too Close

As much as I like Emily Wilson and her women’s devotionals, I wanted to tell her to hush up!

She has a series on Hallow based on her book, Awaken My Heart. Her 52 sessions were not disappointing, but sometimes they hit a little too close to home.

“Unclench Your Fists” was one such devotional. She mentioned how while she was at a retreat she had a vision of Jesus approaching her, and he reached out his hands to hers, but her hands were clenched. Wilson said, “ [Jesus] began to unfurl my fingers one by one. I knew well why my fists were clenched so tightly. I was relying on myself in every facet of my life: my ministry, my motherhood, my vocation to marriage.”

It reminded me of a time in my own experience at a healing service.

A Memory From the Healing Line

The Order of the Daughters of the King (DOK) host healing services rooted in prayer, blessing, and gentle pastoral care. Women come forward one by one to receive individualized prayers, anointing oils, and words of encouragement. It’s a space intentionally crafted for vulnerability, restoration, and spiritual tenderness.

I stood in line waiting. I was tense. Was I being foolish to stand in this long line? Here I was vulnerable with many other vulnerable women. Part of me could leave and rest after such a long event. Yet, I stayed in line. Something within me needed a blessing.

When it was my turn for the rites, she looked at me and gently touched my hands.

“Unclench your fists to receive.”

I didn’t even realize I had them clenched.

The Moment I Unclenched

When I unclenched, I could finally feel a blessing land, and permission to be softer, more open, and trusting.  I don’t remember the exact words she said, the healing prayer, or the blessing received, but I remember the words, “Unclench your fists to receive.”

I learned through this experience that as long as I stay braced and clenched, even Jesus has nowhere to put the gifts he’s trying to hand me.

Clenched fists signal self-reliance; while open hands signal trust.

The Invitation to Open Our Hands

How about you? Will you unclench your fists long enough to see what wants to be given to you?

Where do you notice yourself bracing?

What gifts might you be missing because your hands are full?

Who has tried to bless you lately—and did you let them?

A prayer by Henri Nouwen:

Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to?
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands
and to discover that I am not what I own,
but what you want to give me.
And what you want to give me is love—
unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen.

A newsletter by Katie Rea.