“Not all those who wander are lost.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.

I am not very good at embracing the unknown. Either in life or on a vacation. Often, my husband and I have a habit of going somewhere we are familiar with and therefore know the basic directions. The sense of disorientation and the feeling of being lost terrifies me. I can get lost pretty much anywhere. And I have.

My husband and I often take a weekend and go on these fun, little driving adventures. On one of our first trips together, he handed me a road map and asked me to navigate. He knew how to get to a certain point, but he needed me to use the map to finish our journey. I just stared at the map somewhat embarrassed and not wanting to admit it. The map might as well have been written in runes like in Tolkien’s The Hobbit.

I had no idea how to read a road map. He had to pull over and explain the basics. When we got to the point of no return I gave him directions, but we were now lost. He pulled over again and he took the map back and he started laughing. Apparently, he had given the map back to me and it was upside down. I hadn’t even realized it! My left should’ve been a right, etc. we circled back and eventually found our destination.

My husband has both an internal clock and a compass. I have neither. He once tried to tell me directions by telling me to first go north then…  He lost me at “go north”. I had to look up at the sky to see where the sun was. I knew the sun goes East to West. Then I had to visualize a compass and use my hands to find the cardinal direction of north. It takes too long to repeat that exercise when I’m also trying to drive. And trust me when I say I have to do this process mentally all over again. Thank goodness for Waze or Google Maps!

However, despite my penchant for getting lost, I love discovering new places. I’ve often found it is worth the risk. I’m (slowly) learning not to see getting lost as a negative experience and choose to instead view it as an unexpected journey. If I can relax and not panic, I can open myself up to new discoveries. My husband and I were surprised to discover a rainbow at the next bend of an unfamiliar road or a charming park by the river that we hadn’t seen on any of the maps. We’ve found stunning vistas and a field full of wildflowers. And a fair share of dead ends if we are being practical.

On a recent trip in Asheville, I drove up the mountain exploring the Blue Ridge Parkway with my dad and my son. We came across an overlook called Mills River Valley. As we got out of the car and walked to see the view, we saw numerous butterflies enjoying the late summer flowers. This sight captivated me as well as the view. This was our reward for venturing outside of our respective comfort zones.

By accepting that we are in an unfamiliar space, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities and the potential for self-discovery. If we had remained on the familiar roads, we wouldn’t have found such breathtaking sites.

So too, have I gotten lost in the midst of my life. I became too busy to listen to my instincts or I don’t take the time to discern and wind up on the wrong path for me. Or maybe I am discerning, and the path left looks wonderful, but I should have gone right. I’ve learned the hard way that God is a better life navigator. I just have to pull over and listen to the directions.

“Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to get you to the right place.”

Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

More information:

Asheville – Google Maps

Blue Ridge Parkway (U.S. National Park Service) (nps.gov)

Getting Lost and the Benefits of Finding Yourself | Psychology Today

Please subscribe to my newsletter.