“It’s not what you do for God; it’s what God has done for you. You switch from trying to love God to just letting God love you. And it’s at that point you fall in love with God.”

Richard Rohr

Richard Rohr’s daily meditations arrive in my inbox. He is a favorite author of mine, and he helps my mind and heart meet up. We have also read him in our Spiritual Direction assignments. Rohr’s “Two Halves of Life” meditation mirrored the spiritual conundrum I was experiencing.  

I had gone to a silent day-long retreat, and I had asked God, “What can I do for you?” God’s response was threating to my ego self. I felt God convicting me not to do anything for Him. I was surprised. This was not what I expected. Instead, God wanted to be with me. He wanted me simply to be in His presence. I sat on the bench and allowed the sun’s warmth to remind me of God’s love. This sent me on a yearlong quest to experience time with God rather than doing things in His name. It was much harder than I anticipated.

I kept waiting for instructions on the doing part. I couldn’t help it. Faith without works was dead, right? Unfortunately, I believe God was telling me my ego was getting in the way of my motivation to do for Him. I was focusing on being a good person with a good reputation than really doing for God. I like a to-do list. I don’t know how to live without one. God was having me to refocus. Slowing down and spending time with God was so much harder for me than doing tasks and keeping busy. My ego likes to do important tasks. Doing became a spiritual crutch rather than a spiritual act. For God to love me, I had to earn His love.

I felt the Holy Spirit in Rohr’s words, and I felt I had to reread them several times. I also shared them in my Education for Ministry (EfM) class as the theme of “doing” for God and “being” with God was brought up. The first quote: “It’s not what you do for God; it’s what God has done for you. You switch from trying to love God to just letting God love you. And it’s at that point you fall in love with God.”  Wow. I couldn’t believe what beautiful idea I had just read, so I read it again and again. God loves me for me. God loves you for you. Just let God love you.

Let. God. Love. You.

How simple yet complicated is that?

Then I read the next quote: “In the second half of life, you start to understand that life is not only about doing; it’s about being.” This was a difficult truth to swallow when you are very much a “doer.” I know I am guilty of seeking my personal worth from what I can do. A teacher and a social worker are noble professions. I get my worth helping students and getting resources for people in need, and of course the thanks and recognition I get from doing these deeds. Perfectionism is its own blessing and curse as well. Doing a job well done is important to me, but the unhealthy way in which I can entangle myself in a project is not always the best for me.

Questions that arose for me: How do we be with God?  How do we cultivate a relationship with God? Don’t we have to “do” worship in order to “be” with God? For me, I have trouble with this as doing and being can be more like synonyms or partners rather than two different entities. I guess the key is balance and motive. I had to go to the Silent Retreat in order to spend the time with God and just be with Him. I have to take time out of my day to pray and meditate, but I allow myself to be open to God and be with Him in that space and that moment. This past year, I focused on Centering Prayers, Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, meditations, nature walks and simply slowing down my “to do” list in life. I focused on practicing different types of prayers- intercession, adoration, thanksgiving, confession- as well as reading devotions.

But there is certainly time in my Christian life when I am so focused on doing things for God and for the church, that I forget about why I am doing it. I forget to be present with God in the doing. There is so much to get done that I can get busy and forget about God. Being mindful and present with God is a practice that takes a lifetime to fully practice, but it is certainly important. And this quote reminds me that no matter what it is I am doing, return to God.

“In the second half of life, you start to understand that life is not only about doing; it’s about being.”

Richard Rohr

More information:

Richard Rohr’s Meditation: Two Halves of Life: Week 1 Summary (constantcontact.com)

Richard Rohr’s Meditation: The Two Halves of Life (constantcontact.com)

Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life: Rohr, Richard: 9780470907757: Amazon.com: Books

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