“Regrets only apply when we don’t learn from a situation.”

Catherine Pulsifer

Unbidding, a memory came to me yesterday evening. As I was getting ready for bed, I started thinking of my college years. One of my English professors mentioned an opportunity to be an exchange student for a semester. One of the pamphlets advertised an opportunity to go to the University of Cambridge. I could go to England and study there! All the credits would count toward my major. I was beyond excited. My professor encouraged me to apply.

I told my boyfriend at the time of the opportunity. He was not excited at all. He said if I went, we would have to break up as he didn’t do long distance relationships. He also brought up the cost and all the perils of the trip. I’d be away from friends and family, etc.. At the time, I felt he was being practical, after all, I had been viewing the big picture and not on all of the practicalities. I had the money in savings to go, but it would cut a chunk of my savings and I needed what I could to finish college. I put the pamphlet away. I was a dreamer. There were a million reasons not to do it. I didn’t have the talent or the courage to go.

When my professor asked me if I signed up, I fibbed saying I didn’t have the money. He mentioned scholarship possibilities, but I just shook my head. I didn’t go. Someone else went instead.

Today, I started reading The Midnight Library. The protagonist, Nora, was in a successful band with her brother. They were on the cusp of landing a major record deal. Nora’s boyfriend, however, was not excited. He told her if she stayed in the band, their relationship would not last. He wasn’t in support of her music career. As a result, she decided to stop playing in the band and thought her boyfriend’s dream could become hers.

I put the book down and just sat for a moment. I had a memory last night and today was reading a book on a similar topic.

Nora’s book of regret and mine were similar in this incident.

How many times did I not bet on myself?

When have I not believed in myself?

When have I let go of a dream because someone else told me to do so?

There have been so many times when I played it safe rather than take the chance.

I do need to give myself some credit. I took chances in other ways and had some incredible experiences. But not taking the chance to go to Cambridge was my biggest regret in college.

I look at the young girl I was and though part of me wants to strangle her, another more prominent part wants to give her a great big hug. I cannot change the past.  As Elsa would say, I have to let it go.

i hold the regret in my heart, not to berate myself, but in order to learn and not repeat this mistake.

In the last few years, I have taken many chances. I felt God pulling me to continue getting out of my comfort zone. I enrolled and completed a master’s in religion, all the while working full-time and with my husband and our four children in tow. It was a dream come true.

I felt called to become an officer for the Order of the Daughter’s of the King for both our church chapter and for the Diocese of Tennessee. I’m serving as the Vice President.  

I enrolled in a spiritual direction certification which I recently completed. Now I am starting my own Spiritual Direction practice.

I started this blog.

I’m not saying this to brag. I am proud of my accomplishments.

What do you regret not doing in your life?

Hold it close to your heart and let it go. Then try to take some chances in your life now. Start with baby steps or have faith and go where God leads. Say a big “YES” to God instead of a “No Way!” See what opportunities unfold for you. Allow yourself to be afraid but do it anyway.

You are the master of your destiny.

There are a million reasons why you shouldn’t follow your dreams. Find one reason to go for it.

These questions were asked in a conference I attended, take a moment and think of your answers to each:

What new possibilities do you want to emerge in your creative life?

Who are you waiting for permission from?

Is doing what is safe currently serving you?

 “We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your day and your future.”

Steve Maraboli